Self Esteem February 2010

Love life of a child - JM

Tell me about the love life of a child ?
Professor Freud found out, that children are sexual creatures. He studied children's sexual development. I can give you a short briefing about his studies.

When a child is born, he/she is not much of living person. New born baby can't for example see. Almost the only thing the new-borns can do, is the cry for the food. They can also handle the milk, that their mother gives to them.

First all new born babies fall in love with their mother. Or to a person, who feeds and take care of them. If we are talking about heterosexual boy child, this love affair lasts as long as the mother lives, or they broke up. 

Hetero-Girls are different from Hetero-Boys. When Hetero-Girl is 2 to 4 years old, she falls in love with her father. After that father is a primary target of her love. This switch is not easy. It is one of things that makes girls more vulnerable to mental difficulties than boys.

Do they want to have sex with their parents ?
No they don't. It is an emotional, not a sexual love affair.

In the age of 4 - 6 most of the boys and the girls get involved with real love, with the opposite sex.  It is possible, but not confirmed, that they would like to have sex with their first real love. If they could. The target of their feelings is usually quite young, attractive and close to them. It can be aunt, uncle or someone else who visits often, and who plays with the kid. Or someone, who shows warm, loving feelings to the kid.

Who hugs and kisses the child and takes him in to the arms.
Yes. After this love affair is over, child usually forgets the opposite sex and begins to play with equal sex. Interest to the opposite sex raises again, when puberty begins. And genitals get involved with child's emotional life.

Jack. What is the meaning of the life ?
The bibles of all religions, says that you should work and get babies. Latter versions, that can be found from encyclopedias, has added marriage to the holy explanations.

Mr. Nameday Guy - JM

Jack.
Yes.

Who is Mr. Nameday Guy ?
Well. You know. As we are talking about a top secret, high priority project, everything must done by the book.

Jack ! Who is Mr. Nameday Guy ?
Well he isn't he. Mr. Nameday Guy is our code name for a certain man, who works and lives in the Capitol Hill. Like MR POTUS you know.

Why did you give him that name ?
Because he is the leader of the lawmakers, and therefore our primary target.

You are determined with the Nameday project, is it because of the money ?
Yes I am, but not because of the money.

I remember from my own childhood, how important Christmas, Birthdays and Namedays were. I started to wait for the presents, cakes and other things few months before the D-Day. I invented the money thing to the persons, who do not care about emotional things, and calculates values for everything.

You invented it ?
Yes I invented it. When I searched things with what I can drive and push the Nameday project forward.

Where did you get the idea for this name day project ?
I searched the official name days. After I noticed, that there isn't any, I started memorize my own childhood, and how important the name days were and are for the European children.

Jack what is most important thing about gifts ?
The joy of getting and giving gifts. To someone you like and love.

Santa's home is in danger - NP

Jack, darling. Is the meltdown of the North Pole true ?
Unfortunately it seems to be true. There was year or two when temperatures were in the long time averages. But now they started to raise again. Very heavily.

This summer they were in the halfway from the direct melting. Direct melting means, that ice melts because of the surrounding temperature. In indirect melting the Ocean water melts the ice.

Direct melting is very fast process.

What will it do ?
Nothing special.

Self Esteem - NP

Jack. What is self-esteem ?
It is a thing inside your head. It is in your subconscious mind, and it is very important for mental health.

What does it do ?
Well, Self-Esteem is much like muscular strength. It gives you protection against mental illnesses. It also gives you a buffer against big setbacks in your life.

Strong self-esteem helps you to communicate with others. It helps you survive from difficult tasks, and improves the quality of your life.

Another important thing in self-esteem is, that it simplifies and fastens the healing process of a mentally ill people. You do not have to do long psycho-analysis's to a seriously ill person.  You can heal many mental illnesses with self-esteem based methods. When you strengthen patient's self-esteem, the strong self-esteem kills the mental illness, which lives in patient's brains. 

And you discovered it ?

I am sorry to say, but I didn't discover the self-esteem. It is a very old thing. I think, that Freud discovered the self-esteem.

I discovered the importance of the self-esteem. For a mentally ill person. 

Self-esteem is also important to a person, who is said to be in senses. Enforcing the self-esteem improves the quality of life.

You said, that it is very important to the children ?
Yes. There are two kinds of self-esteems. You can build your self esteem on good or bad things. 

Your instincts start to build your self-esteem almost right after you are born. A guidance to the self esteem is needed, because the automated process, which your subconscious mind executes all the time, does not make any difference between good and bad basis. The difference must be taught to your subconscious routines.

It is usually quite difficult for an adult to make big chances to the self-esteem basis.

The western money-based life-form favors the bad things, like money, work, and so on. The western people takes the bad things to the basis of their self-esteem almost automatically.

That's why you should teach and pay attention to the development of your daughter's self-esteem.

You said my daughter ?
Yes, I said so. Girls have much more difficulties with self-esteem and other mental things. They are taught and subdued to be nice, invisible persons, who obey orders, and who think that they are nothing.

How do I teach my daughter ?

The most easiest way is to build a strong, healthy self-esteem to yourself. In the the eyes of a psychologist, humans are much like monkeys. They learn new things by copying and imitating things, what they see other people doing. 

When you build a strong healthy self-esteem to yourself, your children will copy your way of building the self-esteem to themselves. And when you do so, you feel better, and you do not have to pay very much attention to the development of your children's self-esteem.

Tell me about the good basis ?
When you build the self-esteem, the long lasting things, which come from yourself are the best. Your achievements, nice features in your character, talents, skills, education and so on.

There is one very important thing, which does not directly belong to self-esteem, but is very important to it. It is the way how you picture yourself. In the mirror and also in the nature. If you hate and dislike yourself, it is very difficult for you to build a good self-esteem. Before building your self-esteem, you must put these things in order and accept yourself first. Before you can start, you must either love & accept yourself, or be neutral with yourself.

Love, devotion and acceptance is quite important part of self-esteem. Love and devotion between parent and child, is said to be the strongest form of love. Love between siblings comes usually next, and the third price goes to the love between man and woman. Good friends are usually fourth. If you have good long term childhood friends, they can be second or even most reliable, caring persons in your life. The other forms of love are almost meaningless for good self-esteem. 

And that's it ?
Yes. There are two sectors in the self esteem. Another is intellectual, and another one is emotional. 

You should always base your or your daughter's self-esteem on the long lasting things. Things which comes from your/herself, or from reliable sources.

It is also very important, that you do not build self-esteem to the one thing only. 

Let's take few samples. Your self esteem is based on the thing, that you are intelligent. You have an accident, which damages your brains. After the accident your self esteem collapses completely, and you are likely to spend few years or in the worst case the rest of your life in mental care. Behind bars.

Another, more common sample is a man, whose self-esteem is based mostly on the work. After he is fired, his self-esteem collapses, and he has severe mental difficulties. If he manages to get a new job for himself, his self-esteem usually returns to the old level, and he can continue his life as nothing has happened.

If our man would had included family and family life in his self-esteem, he survives from the loss of work much better than the man in our sample.

And the dark side.
You should never ground your self-esteem on the things like money, work, and the thanks you get from other people. You can use them as a nice additional addition to your self-esteem, but you should never build your self-esteem on these things. They all vanish so easily.

You shouldn't subdue other people, and you should not compare yourself to the others.

The selfish people are quite likely have some mental difficulties, at some point in their life. When you take everything to yourself, and you think, that you are the center of the world, your world and self-esteem are both quite likely to collapse.

Jack. How do I teach these things to my daughter ?
Mostly with educational speeches. You should spur and encourage the child, when she does good things. Besides this, you can also talk to her directly about the self-esteem. It is not a taboo.

You should also be able to be very ecstatic, when your daughter comes to show you something, she has learned or discovered. Although the things looked like meaningless in your eyes, they are very big and important things for her. The positive feedback is important for her self-esteem, it encourages her to continue, and it also gives her a feeling, that you really care about her.

Besides this, you shouldn't emphasize bad things like money, toys and work. 

Cannot give very specific advise here. The right things varies case by case. I am only giving you the facts, with what you can make your own evaluations and applications for yourself and your children.

Where do the cosmetics fall ?
The self-esteem situation is critical, if you cannot show your face to the others, without a thick make-up application. You should try to find something good, and worth showing from yourself.

But in general, the usage of cosmetics gives you a good feeling, and a nice temporal boost to your self-esteem. And to your self confidence, too.

- - + Trust + - -

Tell me about Trust ?
Trust was the first milestone in the way of discovering the importance of the self-esteem. I found it in the year 1994. 

When you speak with someone, and afterwards you get very bad emotions from the conversation, you do not trust the person with whom you talked. You start to search some secret meanings and hints from the conversation. Negative by their nature, and aimed towards you. 

How do you get rid of the after quakes ?
With a simple decision. You decide, that you trust the persons whom you listen. Although they sometimes are scoundrels and not worth of your trust. 

You are also a bit selfish, if you get the after quakes from the conversations and the things you hear. You think, that people always think about you when they talk. In the real world people usually think about themselves, when they talk.

If you get the quakes, because you are in the need of attention, you should search for a person, who is willing to be your friend and also willing to pay some attention to you. In order to get attention and favors from a friend, you should also pay some attention and do some favors to your friend.

There are very many women, who live all of their life in the world of after quakes. Almost every word they hear, hurts them very badly. 

And she could get out of the hell ( she is living in ) in less than 30 minutes. With a very simple decisions.

- - + General Part + - -

Jack, how did you get interested in psychics ?
Well. You know. In my life the dominating factor has always been a woman. Women always make me do things. The cases where I start to do something, without a stimulus and boost from some woman, are quite rare.

When I was young, I was unable form long term relationships with opposite sex. Although I wanted to create long term relationships, and live an ordinary family life. With wife and kids.

As being a curious researcher by my nature, I started search reason for this. It lead me to the world of psychics.

Did you get any help to your relationship problems?

Not very much. The answer was in the un-discovered emotional connection and in you, Natalie darling.

"Always think, how long it lasts, and how reliable the source of the self-esteem is"

 

Self Esteem In Short - Giving birth and raising children is an achievement from which you can be proud of. - When you are young and pretty, it is not forbidden to use your beauty as a part of your self-esteem. But you must be prepared for the times you get older and your beauty vanishes. If you do not prepare yourself for that, you are certain to have difficulties with your mentals when you get older. - Good social skills belongs to the good side. - You should never think, that "I am better than you or he", instead you should think, that "I am good, I manage."  Comparing ( yourself to the others ) is one the most common errors people do with their self-esteem. When you compare yourself with the others, you have difficulties, when you meet someone who is better than you. - Although work is not very good basis for self-esteem, the working skills and achievements in your work are. - Besides skills a Degree from something / somewhere is also a good basis for self-esteem. - The emotional side of the esteem is important when you are in trouble, and your mentals start to fall. You need help from your friends and fellowmen. - Thinking and thoughts are the tool, with what you control, teach and feed things to your subconscious mind. When you for example improve and guide the way how your subconscious self-esteem routines work, you do it with your thoughts.